on ne peut pas dompter les reveurs

In honor of the upcoming convergence of moon events: Super Moon Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse I've posted my Moon Dance playlist ... thanks to EarthSky.org for the astronomical details...

There is a total eclipse of the moon on the night of September 27-28, 2015. It happens to be the closest supermoon of 2015. It’s the Northern Hemisphere’s Harvest Moon, or full moon nearest the September equinox. It’s the Southern Hemisphere’s first full moon of spring. This September full moon is also called a Blood Moon, because it presents the fourth and final eclipse of a lunar tetrad: four straight total eclipses of the moon, spaced at six lunar months (full moons) apart. Phew!

It's not lunacy, it's honoring the untamed dreamer.


Hmmm Sounds Familiar

Digging out a draft from long ago - but it's still apropos, so I've dusted it off.

From Creative Generalist<Psychology Today on how to improve creativity >

Capturing - pay attention and grab those fleeting ideas when you can
Challenging - try to solve the impossible by putting yourself in difficult situations
Broadening - learn about things you don't know or have never really wanted to learn
Surrounding - make yourself available to diverse distractions

...iterate. For most things, throwing yourself at the wall over and over is a better way to improve than thinking hard about the wall and taking pictures of it. I’m sensitive to criticism and failure, so this has been quite a lesson to learn, but I think I’ve got it now.

Geoffrey Litwack. Litwack.org

- I am really REALLY good at capturing and surrounding, but not consistently, not mindfully challenging, broadening,  and especially not iterating. The problem is this crow brain that gathers every shining thing that attracts my attention.  What I have then are burgeoning collections of captures and trails of diverse distractions - and seeming nothing creative to show for it all - most of the time it all veers to the edge of confusion, consternation and chaos.


Self-doubt

I should have read my horoscope before I went to my interview today .....

"Self-discipline becomes an important issue in your life this Monday. A fear of asserting yourself can hold you back--as can coming on too strong. The trick is learning to make the most of your personal talents and abilities, working within your limitations instead of feeling hemmed in by them. You are feeling more confident about increasing your abilities--a class may be in order. When you are in doubt about a decision, take a step back in order to see the whole picture. You are in a good position to relate to groups and society. Charisma, self-transformation and the development of personal power plays a bigger role in your life. Some fun surprises come through communication with young people this evening."

I really dislike interviews and the whole process - I'd rather have a conversation, discussing what impassions me about the workplace, about customer service, about technology.  The rote and robotic questions, the lack of interaction make the uncomfortable process even more so.  Selling is not my strong suit, selling "me" is hardest of all.


Meh

Right now, the comment learned from OD is the best way to comment on the day.  Many, many changes at work - management, staff, organizational restructuring, "job fluidity", lean budgets and yet expanding requirements.  I can accept all of those, and will take the jargon at face value (until otherwise dissuaded). Multiple meetings to "increase efficiencies", shame the faithless, or wave the "we are all one team" banner - sometimes all three in the same meeting. And management is promising improvement - good, better, best.  And, surprisingly, this management set may actually pull it off.  Don't ask me how - maybe it's just good-will during the honeymoon period, or the exhaustion of witnessing (and being subjected to) the management merry-go-round (come in merry, go round and change everything, then roll out). What evah.

So, what's the cause of the ennui? Again, I was confronted with the reality that advancement, leadership potential, mentoring in my organization is predicated on who you are related (politically, familially) to.  A wonderful, capable person that I work with (who does have incredible leadership potential) was again - in a public forum - called out by an upper level manager and given assurances of being shepherded toward growth opportunities.

And, the problem with this picture? 1) Few others are given this same mentoring. 2) Wonderful Capable is related to top leadership in the organization (not common knowledge among the rank and file, but certainly known among upper level management), and hence is being given the key to the executive elevator. 3) My attitude.

I was hurt and angered at hearing the offer - and walked out of the room. And cried a bit, even though I vowed long ago that this job would not make me cry anymore. Oh well, a weak moment. I hope the best for Wonderful Capable, our organization certainly needs more like her/him. I hope the managers can elicit the growth and changes desired in the organization - we're feeling a little dizzy from the spin.  My goals? Dust myself off, don't let this affect my relationship with Wonderful Capable (I really like her/him), and rethink my long term goals with this organization that doesn't value all of its talent. Meh. Meh.


2 Terrible Santas and my new toy

DH and OD surprised me with the gift I really wanted and hadn't asked for...an iPhone.  They continued the surprise by masquerading it as an iPod Touch...until it vibrated and rang in my lap and a picture of my 2 Terrible Santas appeared on the screen.  I'm still learning my way around this mini-computer with a phone - trying to determine what applications to add, what tweaks to make; how to incorporate it into my life and the things I want/need/have to do now. 

AT&T has surprised me with it's network, and I have a new menomic phone number that I could remember after reading it just once. So, I'm a happy girl. Have to get screen protectors (and keep lotion off my fingertips!) and a sturdy case that I can switch it into when I'm cycling.   


What Now?

Many changes at the workplace - not sure if any of them good. Top of the heap has moved on to another institution. Next in the pile is on the way to another institution. Changing divisions, plans for hiring more upper management - but no feet on the street. Almost half of the feet have left for "other options" in the past 6 months. And no one seems to see a problem with any of this.


Samhein

                                    Geese
                        Skein
            Silhouette
Venus
            Plied
                        Night
                                    Sky


first night without her

For weeks we've been getting ready for this trip...thinking about what to pack, cajoling about what not to pack, asking if there is a list, asking where is the list, spending way too much money on "but, I might need it".  Trying to convince her that central Florida really is a developed country and she will not starve, be ungroomed or (gasp) unfashionable! if it's not in one of the 10 cartons or 2 over-sized pieces of luggage or missed being part of 3 marathon shopping trips.  Oh, and there's no car to jump into to dash to the mall, although "sbux" is within walking distance, and  then there's the roommate and the change of roommate and change of room. the first face to face meeting of 2 teens that until that moment had only met through social Internet sites, im and text messages, 4 parents, a raft of boxes, baskets, bags, cartons, suitcases.  Lots of sweat (did I mention central Florida....in August.....) - very few bad words.  Somehow when we left her, it mostly looked like a room that could be lived in, and she was ready for us to leave..."no don't come up to my room, I'll meet you downstairs".  Yet, she could not remember the name of the professor for her first class meeting - "Mom, what's his name?" Our only, off to college.  She's ready (mostly) and what's not quite will be. We're ready (mostly) and what's not quite probably won't be for a while.

At dinner - (we've had repeated "last suppers" over the past week) - she asked what we were going to do without her.  She offered that she was embarking on all things new and exciting: college, dorm life, roommate, friends, classes, Florida, all on her own - we on the other hand would be returning home to the same old things - work, home - she forgot to mention a quieter house - no door slamming at just before curfew, no keyboard clackety, a lonely cat,  and the vacuum that will be created by the absence of her laughter.